Tuesday 19 May 2009

Back but not in Black



Good evening one and all - if i could kiss some of you i would. But not you, no no, you. Oh for gods sake look where i'm pointing...oh forget it. Blog pointing really isn't all it's cracked up to be.

Ok, things i've been pondering:


  • Should i depart every conversation to the opening strains 'CSI Miami' Won't Get Fooled Again?

  • They say you can't choose your family, but you can inherit madness - nofair.

  • Busy examining the double jeopardy law with regards to work homicide

  • Thinking that with a bit of extra poundage, i could be Seagals body double.

  • On that theme, here's some straight to dvd titles i'm considering pitching to Hollywood:

    Double Blast - in which an alcoholic ex cop suicide loner must prevent a flatulent pensioner from farting inside a room full with methane and toddlers. Oh and some guy is after diamonds or something.

    Bitchtown - A 1970s pimp gets thrown forward in time to Birmingham circa 2009. His name is Kendall Bitch and this is his town.

    Boom! Boom! Tinkle. - A weak bladdered alcoholic ex cop suicide loner must prevent two explosions going off. Some bloke is still trying to find diamonds.


Vampenis - A large membered porn star gets bitten during a scene and becomes Vampenis. No diamonds in this one.

Thats all from me. Gosh it's been a long time.